Are you controlling or being controlled?

Are you controlling or being controlled?

Wellness and Self Care

If you are a woman, chances are that the answer could be “both-and.”

Did you know that as a woman and especially a woman of color, you may be predisposed to controlling behavior? Whether that means someone attempts to control you, or you tend to control others, recent stats show that men and women are more than likely to identify their most micromanaging boss as female (Gallup).

It isn’t entirely our fault, and yes there is likely gender and racial bias mixed in. But consider that we’ve been told that we need to be at least twice as excellent as our male counterparts simply to be invited into a space. Sometimes we translate that into uber-perfectionism that can trickle down into being in the weeds and every detail of what our team’s work. Understanding that our results will be scrutinized differently than our male counterparts, and for women of color, than our white counterparts, this is what I call “The Control Conundrum.”

I have clients who admit to do other people’s work to ensure that the project’s outcome turns out correctly for fear that anything short of perfection will be a poor reflection on them and no one else.

Also consider that holding on to every tactical aspect of a project or role is likely holding you back from the more strategic leadership roles that you really want, and the result is that you are stuck wondering why people keep zipping by you on the way to senior leadership.

It’s time you got out of the weeds–ensuring that everyone’s work is well done on top of triple checking your own.

I have a free digital tool for you. It’s the NSC Boundary Breakers Tool(TM). It’s part assessment, part-5-day-personal journaling exercise and executive coach all in one virtual box. It will get underneath whether you’re the controller or if you are being controlled, or both.

Did you know that if you accept controlling behavior in your life, you will likely also leverage control to get the things you want?

If you are ready to amp up your team’s performance, you may want to share this as a personal exercise with each of your team members/direct reports, then bring them back together to strategize how to move forward with their individual breakthroughs. There is even a Trust Erosion Metric that may lead you to insights about your relationships and why there are snags in certain processes.

Download the digital tool:

When you sign up, you’ll also be provided with a link to get on my calendar for a 50-minute executive coaching session to strategize an initial plan for yourself (or your team) to get you past The Control Conundrum and on to bigger things.

You know, you have to let go of a lot to get to that C-Suite.

Who’s ready?


P.S. Group coaching is also available for you and your team after you’ve completed the tool. Just reach out.

Share this post

Start typing and press Enter to search

Shopping Cart

No products in the cart.