What if they aren’t hearing me?

What if they aren’t hearing me?

On @theculturesoup, @jarretthill and I discussed how there are so many allies who are articulating so beautifully why All Lives Matter shouldn’t be the retort to Black Lives Matter. There are all sorts of analogies swirling on the interwebs.

You’ve heard them all:

✅ The one house on fire

✅ The dinner table where one person isn’t served
✅ The breast cancer event where someone asks why not prostate or lung cancer
✅ The Luke 15 parable of the lost sheep
✅The sermon on the mount example ie “Blessed are the poor, but why not everyone, Jesus”
✅ Something about whales…

Many of these examples are so well thought out and so popular, it’s hard to believe that people haven’t heard let alone understand.

We came to the conclusion that even those who don’t accept the analogies actually do understand them.
They are simply dug into their position for some deep seeded reason.

At that point, what do you do or say?

Do you realize that there are other ways to explain the importance of civil and human rights without leaning into one phrase only? That you can communicate the value of black lives and the importance of standing with us in other ways without undercutting the movement, in fact while moving it forward?

Now may be the time to get creative, afterall, we know how ineffective it is to simply shout something louder if it isn’t working.

Question: what else can you say to get them to hear you?

This is where emotional intelligence and cultural intelligence can help you make strides.

✅What can the other party relate to?
✅What is important to them?
✅What values do they hold dear?
✅ What can you do to meet them where they are?
✅How can you find common ground and relate to them?

Now, write your own script. What will you say? Progress is possible. We are seeing it now.

Rest assured, there isn’t just one script.
It’s ok.


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